Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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