i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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