I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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