Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
