he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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