How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
