Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
