I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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