Sry I called you an 8
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
