Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
