I bet he comes in French.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
