Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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