I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
