I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
