Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
