So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
