He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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