fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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