I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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