Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
