I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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