Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
