there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
