her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
