Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
