ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
