I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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