I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
