I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
