Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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