she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i was born a porn star she said
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
