He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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