omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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