And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We were destined to go to rehab together
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize