Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think I died a long time ago.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
