mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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