It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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