Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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