i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
