The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
