the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
