ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
