i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
