I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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