This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
