while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
