So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
