walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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