You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize