Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
