think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
