every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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