she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
