I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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