I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize