Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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