now i know why i became what i already was.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
