I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
