Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
