I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
