i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Less talking, more tequila
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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