A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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